11-27-07 *Special*

Another form pissedoff.com

Sev writes "BAH! Why do we hate Dubya? Why should you?

First of all, I’m sick of being called a follower for not worshiping this man. Why should we hate him? Why do we?

His way of dealing with security after 9/11 is the intellectual equivalent of a stoplight. The terror threat is elevated, should I bring an umbrella? Want to hear my idea for a terror threat level system?
Fine
Be careful
Shit's gonna happen
Bring a rifle
We're fucked

Much more clear cut than "it's an orange day.” What the hell, does that mean I'm supposed to carry a matching handbag? Or possibly eat more citrus fruit?

11-26-07 *Special*

From the classic www.pissedoff.com

Fucking Noodles

Texture is everything. There also has to be the
awarness of content. Kraft is being a fucking idiot
for letting the soft smooth surface of their elongated
grain pass into their blue boxes. How could they be so
stupid?! how the hell do you market that! The picture
on the front cannot even adequately manipulate the
audience into their lies- as said in numerous
sketches, "who are the ad wizards who came up with
this one?" Butter is key to this argument. Had there
not been the required butter added I would not be
ranting about this today. No butter, no lubrication...
no lubercation, no flow of cheese, no flow of cheese
means adhesiveness to noodle, adhesiveness to noodle
means fucking amazing macaroni and cheese! But no...
there is butter- and rightfully so! butter makes the
taste! And if the taste is going to be there, the
texture has to come naturally as well. The smooth
surface of the straight mac noodles dont cut it. The
cheese runs of the noodles back like water does off a
duck's back. Now.. add the grooves and you've got the
makings likened to that of a wool sheep! With the duck
transformed into a a water absorbing mammal you find
the water (or in this case Butter (which is now a
cheesy mixture)) can now cling effectively to the
noodle. Mmm... nothing better then a cheesy noodle! I
dont want some slippery watered down piece of grain!
that's comepletely disgusting! Fuck Straight Noodles!!
Spiral all the way!!!!! God damnit!

11-25-07 *Special*

Today, I've noticing a lot of other peoples annoyances, so im dedicating this week to other peoples strange annoyances. Heres todays:

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no ****ing way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole

11-12-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Post Expectance

This annoyance is aimed at the people who are going to send me an e-mail complaining that theres no annoyance for today. You really think I'm not going to pause and give credit to our veterans? You expect me to take the time to turn on my computer, go to blogspot, write a post and publish something? Oh, wait...

11-9-07 Extension Annoyance

Todays extension annoyance is Butch Car Claims

No, that wasn't a typo for bush, what I'm talking about has to do with yesterdays annoyance. On your car, you have the potential to advertise yourself in two major ways: bumper stickers and your licence plate. If you have the plate, "STALION" you had better be a giant muscular guy driving a hummer. Unfortunately this plate was seen on a Dodge mini-van and the guy was about 40 years old 125 pounds and probably hasn't lifted more than a box of cereal for 20 years. How about the plate, "HOTIEE"? Found on a Geo Metro containing a woman that is about 300 pounds eating chicken. How about "WAZZZAP"? Are you picturing a black Ferrari Enzo containing a rapper or something? The plate was found on a 1975 Volvo of some kind. Lets get it right people.

P.S. To the examples we showed here we replaced them with LAMEO, FATTIE, and CRACKER.

11-8-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is False Screen Names

"Oh, yeah just go ahead and e-mail me at 'thor_god_of_thunder@--.com'" "Yeah send me that at 'zena_goddess_of_fire@--.com'" Really? Guy number one: You live in a 500 square foot apartment, you drive a Nissan Bluebird, you bring a bagel for lunch every day, and the most social contact outside of work in the last month was petting your chihuahua. Lady number two: you spend about an hour getting your hair in the most ugly position as possible, the box of camels isn't helping your game, and you're a freaking secretary. The only fire that you command, zena, comes from your lighter and thor, the only hammer that you swing...well I wont go there.

11-7-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Corny Marriage Dates

Four months ago today a whole bunch of people got married on 7-7-07. The reason they did this was because the date was close to the number sequence 777. Now heres the thing: It's not 777, its 7707. Its not going to be 777 for another 7 years, 7 months, and 29 days. These people are idiots. How much do you want to bet that more divorces stem from marriages on 7707 just because they're idiots? How much would you pay to talk to the goth couple that got married on 6-6-07?

10-6-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is My Stupidity

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you mean they don't have to kill sheep to get their fur? My bad. Thousands of sheep everywhere breath a sigh of relief. This fact found on www.sheep101.info Go there.


Now is it fur or wool?

10-5-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Ugg Boot Comercials

Ok, ill get right to the point. The ugg boot company thought it would be a good idea to include a sheep sound effect in there radio commercial. Last time I checked, Ugg was still killing sheep to make boots out of! WTF? I find two possible explanations for this item. One, they are using some kind of sick humor; (I doubt that because I don't think they are that smart) and second, their advertising agency of choice is incredibly stupid. I'm going for the second option personally. This is kind of like the Jelly-Belly company having the killing of the jelly monsters in the background of their commercials. Yes, jelly monsters.

11-2-07 Annoyance

Todays bonus annoyance is October 2007

Holy crap! October 2007 was so annoying! Lets never do it again.

11-1-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is "Fun Size"

I've been meaning to do this one for a while now, and this is farily obvious. If you have been in a store recently or are profiting from small children's trick-or-treating escapades, you have undoubtably seen the phrase "Fun Size." This refers to the candies that are so small that it takes about 7 seconds to eat them. Somewhere some drunk advertizing executive thought he could cover his ass for making them so small by adding "Fun Size." Do you really think were having fun when eating those? Those are practically punishments, not candy! I get all depressed after eating them! If anyone thinks that "Fun Size" is fun, your world is a cold, dark place. This is fun size: