11-26-07 *Special*

From the classic www.pissedoff.com

Fucking Noodles

Texture is everything. There also has to be the
awarness of content. Kraft is being a fucking idiot
for letting the soft smooth surface of their elongated
grain pass into their blue boxes. How could they be so
stupid?! how the hell do you market that! The picture
on the front cannot even adequately manipulate the
audience into their lies- as said in numerous
sketches, "who are the ad wizards who came up with
this one?" Butter is key to this argument. Had there
not been the required butter added I would not be
ranting about this today. No butter, no lubrication...
no lubercation, no flow of cheese, no flow of cheese
means adhesiveness to noodle, adhesiveness to noodle
means fucking amazing macaroni and cheese! But no...
there is butter- and rightfully so! butter makes the
taste! And if the taste is going to be there, the
texture has to come naturally as well. The smooth
surface of the straight mac noodles dont cut it. The
cheese runs of the noodles back like water does off a
duck's back. Now.. add the grooves and you've got the
makings likened to that of a wool sheep! With the duck
transformed into a a water absorbing mammal you find
the water (or in this case Butter (which is now a
cheesy mixture)) can now cling effectively to the
noodle. Mmm... nothing better then a cheesy noodle! I
dont want some slippery watered down piece of grain!
that's comepletely disgusting! Fuck Straight Noodles!!
Spiral all the way!!!!! God damnit!