Holdays

Ok, theres so many annoying things about this time of year that it needs its own blog. Go here: http://annoyancefortheholidays.blogspot.com/

11-27-07 *Special*

Another form pissedoff.com

Sev writes "BAH! Why do we hate Dubya? Why should you?

First of all, I’m sick of being called a follower for not worshiping this man. Why should we hate him? Why do we?

His way of dealing with security after 9/11 is the intellectual equivalent of a stoplight. The terror threat is elevated, should I bring an umbrella? Want to hear my idea for a terror threat level system?
Fine
Be careful
Shit's gonna happen
Bring a rifle
We're fucked

Much more clear cut than "it's an orange day.” What the hell, does that mean I'm supposed to carry a matching handbag? Or possibly eat more citrus fruit?

11-26-07 *Special*

From the classic www.pissedoff.com

Fucking Noodles

Texture is everything. There also has to be the
awarness of content. Kraft is being a fucking idiot
for letting the soft smooth surface of their elongated
grain pass into their blue boxes. How could they be so
stupid?! how the hell do you market that! The picture
on the front cannot even adequately manipulate the
audience into their lies- as said in numerous
sketches, "who are the ad wizards who came up with
this one?" Butter is key to this argument. Had there
not been the required butter added I would not be
ranting about this today. No butter, no lubrication...
no lubercation, no flow of cheese, no flow of cheese
means adhesiveness to noodle, adhesiveness to noodle
means fucking amazing macaroni and cheese! But no...
there is butter- and rightfully so! butter makes the
taste! And if the taste is going to be there, the
texture has to come naturally as well. The smooth
surface of the straight mac noodles dont cut it. The
cheese runs of the noodles back like water does off a
duck's back. Now.. add the grooves and you've got the
makings likened to that of a wool sheep! With the duck
transformed into a a water absorbing mammal you find
the water (or in this case Butter (which is now a
cheesy mixture)) can now cling effectively to the
noodle. Mmm... nothing better then a cheesy noodle! I
dont want some slippery watered down piece of grain!
that's comepletely disgusting! Fuck Straight Noodles!!
Spiral all the way!!!!! God damnit!

11-25-07 *Special*

Today, I've noticing a lot of other peoples annoyances, so im dedicating this week to other peoples strange annoyances. Heres todays:

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no ****ing way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole

11-12-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Post Expectance

This annoyance is aimed at the people who are going to send me an e-mail complaining that theres no annoyance for today. You really think I'm not going to pause and give credit to our veterans? You expect me to take the time to turn on my computer, go to blogspot, write a post and publish something? Oh, wait...

11-9-07 Extension Annoyance

Todays extension annoyance is Butch Car Claims

No, that wasn't a typo for bush, what I'm talking about has to do with yesterdays annoyance. On your car, you have the potential to advertise yourself in two major ways: bumper stickers and your licence plate. If you have the plate, "STALION" you had better be a giant muscular guy driving a hummer. Unfortunately this plate was seen on a Dodge mini-van and the guy was about 40 years old 125 pounds and probably hasn't lifted more than a box of cereal for 20 years. How about the plate, "HOTIEE"? Found on a Geo Metro containing a woman that is about 300 pounds eating chicken. How about "WAZZZAP"? Are you picturing a black Ferrari Enzo containing a rapper or something? The plate was found on a 1975 Volvo of some kind. Lets get it right people.

P.S. To the examples we showed here we replaced them with LAMEO, FATTIE, and CRACKER.

11-8-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is False Screen Names

"Oh, yeah just go ahead and e-mail me at 'thor_god_of_thunder@--.com'" "Yeah send me that at 'zena_goddess_of_fire@--.com'" Really? Guy number one: You live in a 500 square foot apartment, you drive a Nissan Bluebird, you bring a bagel for lunch every day, and the most social contact outside of work in the last month was petting your chihuahua. Lady number two: you spend about an hour getting your hair in the most ugly position as possible, the box of camels isn't helping your game, and you're a freaking secretary. The only fire that you command, zena, comes from your lighter and thor, the only hammer that you swing...well I wont go there.

11-7-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Corny Marriage Dates

Four months ago today a whole bunch of people got married on 7-7-07. The reason they did this was because the date was close to the number sequence 777. Now heres the thing: It's not 777, its 7707. Its not going to be 777 for another 7 years, 7 months, and 29 days. These people are idiots. How much do you want to bet that more divorces stem from marriages on 7707 just because they're idiots? How much would you pay to talk to the goth couple that got married on 6-6-07?

10-6-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is My Stupidity

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you mean they don't have to kill sheep to get their fur? My bad. Thousands of sheep everywhere breath a sigh of relief. This fact found on www.sheep101.info Go there.


Now is it fur or wool?

10-5-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Ugg Boot Comercials

Ok, ill get right to the point. The ugg boot company thought it would be a good idea to include a sheep sound effect in there radio commercial. Last time I checked, Ugg was still killing sheep to make boots out of! WTF? I find two possible explanations for this item. One, they are using some kind of sick humor; (I doubt that because I don't think they are that smart) and second, their advertising agency of choice is incredibly stupid. I'm going for the second option personally. This is kind of like the Jelly-Belly company having the killing of the jelly monsters in the background of their commercials. Yes, jelly monsters.

11-2-07 Annoyance

Todays bonus annoyance is October 2007

Holy crap! October 2007 was so annoying! Lets never do it again.

11-1-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is "Fun Size"

I've been meaning to do this one for a while now, and this is farily obvious. If you have been in a store recently or are profiting from small children's trick-or-treating escapades, you have undoubtably seen the phrase "Fun Size." This refers to the candies that are so small that it takes about 7 seconds to eat them. Somewhere some drunk advertizing executive thought he could cover his ass for making them so small by adding "Fun Size." Do you really think were having fun when eating those? Those are practically punishments, not candy! I get all depressed after eating them! If anyone thinks that "Fun Size" is fun, your world is a cold, dark place. This is fun size:

10-31-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Small Children

You have probably seen me whriting on this subject before, but due to this holliday that brings kids from out of their containments *shudder* I feel it's a good public service. We all have our own reasons for disliking small children. I don't really think I should list all the possible reasons because, due to its length, Blogger might restrict my bandwith. So go ahead and strap on your helmet (to protect from head explotions) and list off a few reasons you dislike children. -- Now by now you should be thinking something allong the lines of, "What are children good for?" or, "What were my parents thinking?" or, "Im in the mood for garlic bread." This in mind, now think of the Carmella people who say crap like "Children are our future," or, "The ultimate joy in the universe is seeing a child." Pisses you off, doesn't it? This messing with your minds is fun. Its kind of like the "Hate Week" in the book, 1984. Awesome.

Take extra percautions when handling children this holliday season. Happy Haloween!

10-30-07 Bonus Annoyance

WTF!? In my search for a good haloween ad, look at the crap I found!:
This is an email I got from Pizza Hut:

$10.99 – What a spooky deal Really? Whats spooky about that?
Trick or Cheese! WHAT-THE-F*CK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!
Everyone knows the best treats have extra inside Really? I didn't know that. Maybe its because it DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!!
There’s nothing as scary as a pizza without ENOUGH CHEESE! Really? How about some guys head being eaten alive?
A deal so good, its spooky! Really? How about you die of the plague and burn in hell.

Very upsetting to me.

10-30-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Halloween Comercials

It's a SPOOKY SALE!! and its ass. These idiot companies think there being clever by saying "HOWL-O-WEEN," "YOU SHOULD GOST TO OUR STORE" but its ASS! Don't try to be funny! It's not going to work. Without fail, they always fail...um...yeah. I'm drowning in failure!! If you have found an ad that has to do with haloween and is only slightly ass, post it here and i'll send you as much money is in my pocket right now. ($4)

10-29-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Halloween Blood Drives

Well aren't you funny?! "I KNOW, LETS HAVE A BLOOD DRIVE FOR HALOWEEN! CUZ IT'S LIKE, BLOOD, AND YOU KNOW, CUZ...haloween...and...OH WAIT!! THATS REALLY STUPID! I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF!!!"

Or thats how I wish the conversation went.

10-25-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance comes to us from Daniel in Murrieta

Todays annoyance is Car Comercials

TODAY ONLY!! Even though its for a week THE GIANT USED CAR TENT EVENT!!Oh, wait, its "Certified Pre-Owned" We have every kind of car ever produced!!Exept for the one you wantCOME NOW OR WE'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY!!

Why do these companies think we care? I know whenever a car comercial comes on my TV, my eyes gloss over, my head falls back, and I dream of insane purple bunnies. They come...and talk about...murder...and candy......the......bunnies.........

10-24-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is This Goddamn Fire

As you know these fires have been burning for about 4 days now. WELL I'M ADMITTING IT NOW: It was my fault. We were just having a simple burning at the stake, but decided to add a little more flame. Well, hey, if you were burning Rosie O'Donnel, you'd add more flame too! Anyway, our vitamin G (gassoline) was sprayed everywhere, and one thing lead to another, and these goddamn fires broke out! "Who cares," you say? Heres the thing: ROSIE ESCAPPED!!! Now, emergency crews are covering up their search for O'Donnel by saying there's fires and having everyone evacuating. Hopefully if we torch SD, Rosie's dead body will be found!

10-21-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Consciousness

Why on earth do humans need to be awake? Is there some pressing evolutionary need that says
that we aren't allowed to sleep for more that about 10 hours? Come to think of it, there are a lot
of things in evolution that are unnecessary. Like...jumping. Can't we just get rid of that all
together? When was the last time you jumpped? Exactly. You have no answer. Just remember,
Consciousness: The annoying time between sleep. Go back to bed

10-20-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Kiddie Cartoons

If you are cursed with children or know someone with children or have ever had the unfortunate experience of being in the same room with a child under 7 years, you know that they are, without exception, totally insane. Now, they can't have been born with this condition; it's a learned trait. Where do they get it, you ask? (You don't ask but i'm pretending like you care for this transition) They get it from the insane TV shows they watch. To watch a TV show designed for little kids can be compared to a few different things depending on the age group. For shows for 1-3 year olds, it's like being an alien in a gay wonderland of some kind. (Barney, Telitubbies) Shows targeting 3-5 year olds have stupid super-heroes that are INCREDIBLY lame. This is the time where the children buy every collectible piece of crap made for the characters. Finally, the 5-7 year olds have the worst: an attempt at a social drama of some kind that involves someone very loud yelling something very unimportant. Children are a plague of our planet. If you see one that is incorrectly tagged and leashed, please call the anti child extermination agency. If you are approached by one, slowly back away and throw anything with sugar at them. Hopefully they'll go away.

10-19-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Lack of Ideas

Annoyance is rampant in this day and age, so why can't I think of anything? Going through my day looking for annoyances, i've got nothing! So today is special. Instead of being annoyed, make a big, 'ole batch of wassle. Heres the recipe:
Ingredients:
1 gallon apple cider
1 tsp whole cloves
2 tsp whole all spice
2 3" cinnamon sticks
2/3 cup sugar
2 oranges studded with whole cloves

Method:
Mix cider, cloves, all spice, cinnamon sticks, and sugar in a large pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Strain before pouring into serving bowl. Garnish with floating sliced oranges studded with whole cloves.

10-18-07 Infos

If you read the blog regularly, you've heard references to "The Great Book of the Universe." Maybe you've wondered what amazing secrets are contained within. Well, now you can! Coppies of the book will soon be avaliable for purchase!*

*Some amazing materials are so amazing that your head will explode. You should always wear a helmet when reading the book anyway in case of head explotions. Unfortunatley some materials are too amazing and will need to be sensored.  

10-17-07 Annoyance draft

Todays annoyance is Misplaced Condiments

According to the great book of the universe (Pages 4310-4368) there are SET RULES as to the placement of various table condiments. (Ketchup, mustard, salt, ect.) Until the book comes out, I have this handy list of common uses:

1.Ketchup--To be stored in the: Refridgorator ("No, I like it warm" NO! KEEP IT IN THE   FRIDGE)
2.Mustard--To be stored in a cupboard (You don't chill mustard)
3.Salt--To be kept on the table (If you keep it in the cupboard you are an automatic ass-  hole. Making people spend effort is evil)

I'm sure you could come up with some more. 

10-16-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is 9-11

On the date of September 11, 2001 some terrorists had jammed spikes up their asses which caused them to crash into the world trade centers. (Obvious correlation) But when people want to refer to this event, they shorten it to 9-11. (A well known fact) The thing is; when you say 9-11, your referring to two numbers. An example: "I lost someone on 9-11." You were attacked by the 9? Or was it the 11? (The well known troublemaker) You stepped on some numbers, tripped and fell? Another example: "9-11 was a terrible day for America." Ok, ill give you the day, but what year are you referring to? September 11, 2007 was a fine for me; I think I had some cheerios, a chicken sandwich for lunch, attended a burning at the stake, and took a nap in English class. I don't know what kind of atomic headache you had to make you so pissy to say it was a "terrible day for America" So, folks, whenever you see an 11 or a dash or a 9 watch out! They might just ruin your day, apparently.

10-15-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is The Barbecue Sauce Effect

This phenomenon is very easy to explain: Everything sounds like it would be great with barbecue sauce but truly, its disgusting. Ever try to put BBQ sauce on a chicken taco? Sounds good, no? You wouldn't believe how gross it was! Made me want to stapple my head to the floor! (A difficult task, by the way.) Lets go ahead and eliminate BBQ sauce from the planet. Go to your refrigerator, take out the sauce and place it in your trash can. I command you.

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Got something that really annoys you? Send it to me, and I'll post it here!

10-11-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Everyone's a Winner

I come to you today as a concerned citizen. Our human gene pool is being polluted by people who say that "everyone's a winner." If you go to your local park on a Saturday afternoon, chances are, there will be a kiddie sport of some kind. Assuming that one of the sides will lose, their "coaches" will tell them that they did a good job, and that as long as they had fun, they won too. ERRRRNT, WRONG!!!! They lost! They fail at life! They need to be eliminated from the human race! But silly federal laws make this task difficult. Here's the scary part: these people are your underlings! Without a proper sense of winning and losing, they just morph into one big glob of non-caringness! Your structure of people will crumble as if you were building a structure out of wheat thins! Has anyone ever done that? Go try it now. I command you.

10-10-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Stupid People

Not really. Todays annoyance is more like the stupid peoples mentality. Rule #29 of the universe states that the stupider a person is, the more intelligent they think they are. As one that practically drowns in peoples stupidity every day, I have personal experience with this. Take this person (Not to say any names; Katie Daley) today we were asked how many states are in the US. She was in the middle of painting her nails yellow and texting her BFF and yelled out, "54!!" As many people shouted, "No..." she said, "um, yeah it is" and gave us a look like we were the stupidest people on earth. See her mom here. Breaking news: Theres 54 states now. Contact your local map retailer for updated maps

10-9-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance of the day is Karmic Retrobution

If you think I just sneezed those last words, you probably shouldn't read this post. You probably shouldn't be near any electronics at all. You might have difficulty operating a toaster. (Don't worry, I do too.) What I mean be Karmic Retrobution, has to do with Karma. This is like the evil-ass santa that sits on a tree near your head and watches what you do. Than when you do something bad, he burns you at the stake. Ok, not really that bad, but you get the idea. Santa in general pisses me off. He travels around the world, and makes toys all over the place, yet is still fat? He probably burns more calories in one hour than I burn in 3 days! Anyway, I've lost interest due to the fact that my cookies are done. I've got cookies and you don't! Ha Ha!

10-8-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Smahl Mahsles

(This must be read in your best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice)

Aee geht reelee anoyed when peepl dohnt hav reelee beeg mahsls laek mee. GROH MOR MAHSLS PEEPL! Eet reelee eesn't dat hard, jahst dreenk meelk. Dreenk mohr meelk to groh strahng mahsls. Laul.

*Think this AOTD sucks? So do I! Send me your better annoyances so I can post them

10-7-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Bogo

Yes, that bogo that means "Buy One Get One" But wtf is that supposed to mean? NEWS FLASH: If you buy one, you'll get one!!! I guess whoever made up that ass acronym doesn't know that most of the world is familiar with the barter system. Shouldn't it be Bogof, anyway? That would tell the reader that you get one free. Come on, you know you like saying bogof. Its like chimichangas; you don't espscialy like them, but you buy them because its fun to say.

10-6-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Under-used Menu Items

I have a fairly old phone and when I schedule an event on my calendar, I can choose a "category" to put it in. These include: Meeting, Phone Call, Medical, Birthday, and Vacation. I have never used anything other that the first two options for the whole time i've had the phone. My yahoo calendar has 27 options and I don't use more than 4. Do we really need a category for "Schedule Vet Appointment"?! We need useful categories like "Pie Baking," "Burning at the Stake," and "Taxidermey"

10-5-07 Bonus Annoyance

Todays bonus annoyance is Smores

Apparently, the person who made the word smore was an avid LSD user, due to the fact that it tells you NOTHING ABOUT THE FOOD. Smore, of course, is an ass combination of the words Some and More; indicating that you want more. More of what? Nothing in the title can tell us! It should be a combo of Gram Cracker, Chocolate, and Marshmellow. How about "gramarcolate"? Or "marcrakolate"? The dumb-ass that I am, I'm enabling the word by using it in the previous post.

P.S. I don't give a crap that I misspelled marshmellow. Thats how it should be spelled.

10-5-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Temperature Complainers

Today in San Diego, it was an unusually cold {60 degrees(I know, were all spoiled bitches)} and the people who have a habit of complaining on hot days complained that it was too cold. You brought it on yourselves, stupid! Its all your fault and now we should burn you at the stake. Not for anger issues, just because i'm in the mood for smores.

Welcome Back

I take no responsibility for the lack of annoyances for the last few months. Lets just say there was an incident involving two circus midgets, a bottle of mayo, 4,000 crayons and a stapler. Don't ask.

6-30-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Lame Comebacks

When I insult you, I expect you to give me a comeback that I can use on someone else later. Its kind of like an exchange for the privledge of being insulted by me. Your welcome, but its quite annoying when the only thing you've got is "In your face," or "Your mom." What are those supposed to mean? A hypothetical referance to a "your mom" joke, but you were just to lazy to actually say it? And whats in my face? Your head? I don't get it.

6-29-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Special K

I am apparently missing what is so special about special k. It must be something amazing, because it says so right on the box. Does anyone know? Anyone?

6-28-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Bob Barker leaving TPIR

For you lay-people, TPIR stands for The Price Is Right. No one is ever going to be as good as Bob Barker, and the reason is he's enjoable without being corny and insane. Comedy in general has gone to the dogs with actors/comedeans feeling like they need to be funny by being CRAZY. Its just crap now, and its going to bleed into this classic tv show.

6-27-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Trump Baja

Latley, i've been hearing some radio ads for "trump oceanside estates." Donald Trump is going to be building some appartment complex in baja california. See it here:
http://www.trump-baja.com

The point is, on the radio ad, the annoncer says, "Sure he was the reason rosie left the view, but he's also the reason this place is so rad!" This annoyed me in three ways:
First, rosie left the view because she thought her fat ass was worth millons of dollars.
Second, if he was the reason, what the hell does that have to with anything?!
Finally, the self centered egotistic aloofness of putting that in your commercial is infuriating.
Donald trump needs to be removed from this planet.

6-22-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Mens Wherehouse TV ads

These ads are the worst I have seen. Ever. The latest involves a "crazy sale!!" and to make the point that their crazy, he began pulling suits out of barrels of penuts. This made the suits look very crappy. WOW! A SUIT COVERD IN PENUT SHELLS! THATS WHAT I WANT!!!! Verry upsetting to me.

6-19-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is on the go

What is that supposed to mean? Shouldn't be on the way, or in the process? I know what it means, but the phrase itself doesn't make a bit on sense. And I am also annoyed at the fact that if a company makes their product the slightest bit smaller or more portable, the splatter ON THE GO all over it; usually accompanied by a stoplight with green lit up. To those companies: We get it. You've got to use any marketing you can pretend your product has because its all crap, but let us decide what to do with it.

6-17-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is being asked for donations

Recently, I was at a store that rhymes with "shmall-vart." I had successfully completed my mission of obtaining skewers, diet coke, and light-bulbs. (Don't ask) And while loading my things, a large woman with a clip-board came over and asked something like, "Excuse me, but would you like to donate to the handicapped old people, kittens, puppies, and small children with critical diseases educational and prevention fund?" So I'm faced with a dilemma; I'm a terrible person if I ignore her, but if I say no I'm practically a murderer! So naturally I caved and donated and I received a tiny purple ribbon. As the ribbon sat on my dashboard I got more and more annoyed. "I have a right to load my groceries in peace! I don't appreciate being heckled at shmall-vart! So, I thought about suing, but my lawyer said I was a freak. He says that a lot.

6-16-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is silent "e"

Shops that want to be cute spell their names with a silent "e" at the end. For example:

Old Towne
Ye olde
Cigar shope

My spell-check even knows these are misspelled. I know they just want to be cute, but it just makes you look stupid. These are just a few examples, but i'm sure you could come up with more.

6-15-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is midnight infomercials

For the life of me, I can't figure out why companies spend money on infomercials because nobody watches them; but the ones that come on at like 1AM that three people are watching, and two of them are drunk out of their minds, and the other is 47 years old, 375 pounds, lives in his grandma's basement and has never had a girlfriend in his life.

6-14-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is not being annoyed.

I worked hard today, doing nothing but think of what I was annoyed at. Unfortunately, since the only significant thing I did was blink, thats all I've got.

Todays honorable mention annoyance is blinking

O.k, so I don't really hate blinking, but I can't think of anything else (see above) --^
This is probably a good place for an advert:

ADVERT

Got something that annoys you? Send it to me and see it posted here!

6-13-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is unavailability

My apologies for not updating the blog, but I had no computer access. Todays annoyance is me not updating the blog.

6-7-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Paris Hilton being released

Did you hear?
http://www.tmz.com/2007/06/07/paris-hilton-free-woman/
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/07/paris.hilton/index.html?section=cnn_latest
http://www.nbc5.com/entertainment/13459235/detail.html?rss=chi&psp=nationalnews
http://cbs13.com/entertainment/local_story_158091148.html
http://www.knbc.com/entertainment/13459142/detail.html?rss=la&psp=news
http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news&id=5374111

Holy crap.
I'm reminded of the judges words; what were they again? Oh, yeah, "SHE WILL NOT GET SPECIAL TREATMENT!!" I'd say getting let off FIVE WEEKS EARLY is special treatment. From TMZ, "She was originally sentenced to 45 days in jail, but that was reduced to 23. She served a total of three days." So when was the last time a person other than a celebrity was let off that early? Also paris's own words, "I had the option to go to a pay jail, but I'M GOING TO DO THE TIME TO PROVE I CAN." Well, guess what; you just lied, and portrayed herself as a total wuss. What is it about these celebrities that make them SO ANNOYING?? We all thought that maybe, just maybe we could make an example out of Hilton, by not letting celebrities get off the law. I guess its an impossible dream. Remember yesterdays annoyance? This will no doubt triple her media attention. Don't worry, she'll be on every talk-show on the planet.

6-6-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Paris Hilton's Media Attention

Like most people on this planet, I am happy that one of these annoying rich celebrities are getting what they deserve, but the media has played into this story CONSTANTLY!! I'm almost as sick at this story as I'm sick at the people themselves!

6-5-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is icecream trucks.


Ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, didah, ding, SHUT UP!!! Oh, but ice-cream does sound good. Wheres my wallet?

6-4-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance comes to us from Bruce in Denver, CO.

Todays annoyance is the word "sick" as meaning "cool"

"Whoa! That is so sick!"

So at least when I get sick, I generally look disgusting, and feel disgusting; or is it just me? Shouldn't "sick" mean gross?

O.K, and I'm also including the word "tight." Example: "Whoa, that car is tight!" What is that supposed to mean?? The seatbelts work extra good?

6-3-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is the phrase needless to say.

If its needless to say, then don't say it! I'm reminded of the navy acronym: KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid)

6-2-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is fat pride.

This one's been coming for a while know. Recently I saw a personal ad for a lady who described herself as:

FAT: Fun And Thick!

What it acctualy stands for is:

Fat and Thick

Get it right.

I truly hope this "obesity acceptance" trend doesn't spread, or it could spell the end to thin people everywhere!!

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Got something that really annoys you? Send it to me, and I'll post it here!

6-1-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is May 2007

As you can see, last month was very annoying. This month doesn't really look any better.

5-31-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is the toaster dial.

Maybe I'm just stupid, but I just can't tell what my toaster does to make my toast lighter or darker. It seems to take the same ammount of time, the coils don't appear to become any hotter, and it just bugs not knowing how it works! (Made you in the mood for toast!)

5-30-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Stock Laughter

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I shall endeavor to explain. When a really stupid radio or TV show wants you to think someone thinks that their corny joke was funny, they will play a pre-recorded sound of laughter. This is very annoying, and even insulting when its SO OBVIOUS!! If nobody in the universe thinks you're funny, then don't pretend like you have fans, just accept that you shouldn't be broadcasting to anyone.

5-29-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is drawn on eyebrows

It truly is unfortunate that people think that this practice is smart.

Step one: Pluck out your eyebrows
Alternate step one: Be born without eyebrow follicles
Step two: Get a special pencil that costs just about $6,000 and draw lines.
Step three: Look ridiculous

Makes sense to me!

5-28-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Memorial Day Sales

WERE HAVING A GIGANTIC MEMORIAL SALE!!! NO INTEREST! NO PAYMENTS! WE'LL PAY YOUR SALES TAX! 20% OFF THE WHOLE STORE!

Oh, yeah and somethin' about our troops that died protecting our country. Today is called Memorial day, a day dedicated to remembering lost heroes, and veterans; not nation-wide sale day.

5-27-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is math

Did you know that when math was invented, it was used as a form of torture? O.k. not really, but at times it sure feels like it! I know math can be helpful and everything, but good grief! Could it have been maybe a little easier!? I think we should all band together and outlaw math higher than the high school level.

5-26-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is the Rosie vs. Donald

VS

Who would have though? Rosie has now become an icon not because of any special tallents, but because of her amazing annoyance skills. Donnald Trump is just a guy with a bunch of money who thinks he can say whatever he wants. So todays annoyance is Rosie, Donald, and their feud.

5-25-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is Clip Art

You know who you are clip art abuser. You cover your documents with poorly drawn figures of office employees, talking water-coolers and cats. Need I say more? I think not.

5-23-07 Annoyance

Todays annoyance is pop-ups

Now, we all hate popups. They interupt our surfing with offers of something for nothing. That being said, todays annoyance isn't so much about the popups them sevlves, but the things that they alledgly offer. Is there anyone left on the planet who blieves you are acctually going to recive $1,000 a free laptop, and two ipods just for clicking here? How stupid do you really think we are? Do you really think we blieve we are the thousanth visitor; or the fact that we've been the thousanth visitor six times in a row? I personally enjoy the little games that some of them have. I play your pointless game and when you try to open your affiliated link my blocker deflects it. Ha Ha! I win flash game spammer!

5-22-07 Annoyance

Todays AOTD is the back of the rice-krispies box this month.

On this months rice-krispies box it features six random pictures of the animated spokesmen/spokessmurfs and a few kids dong something "adventureous." These scenes inculed a western, on the moon, underwater, climbing a mountain, and a park scene. The whole idea is to "inspiring imagination." Apparently I missed the news flash that our society is creating brain-dead children without immagination and the only sensible thing to do would be placing a ridiculous set of pictures on the back of cereal boxes. Has kelloggs forgotten that adults also eat cereal? Since when did cereal boxes become educational? Lets see what we learn from this:

1. Smurfs exist
2. Everyone smiles. All the time. Constantly. Without exeption.
3. Dolphins have eyelashes
4. Playing with strange green spikey thinks is normal
5. Space travel is a common occurance for 2nd graders
6. Smurfs do not need oxygen in space
7. Climping cliffs without adult supervission is acceptable
8. There is also treasure in all cliffs, so get climbing!

Seems like law-suit material to me!!

--Annoyed in SD